Recently, in a game of twenty questions with a friend, I was asked what my “perfect” date would be. Hmmm. The perfect date. I could dream up any date and claim it as perfect to answer his question. Instead I gave it a deeper thought. My answer wasn’t dinner at a fancy restaurant, a game of mini golf in the summer, or ice skating in the city because none of those can be the perfect date on their own. What makes for my idea of a perfect date isn’t the location or activity; it is simply good conversation and a whole lot of laughs. In the end, WHO you are on a date with is more important than WHERE you are and WHAT you are doing.
That brings me to today’s topic: The importance of being a good conversationalist. After our game of twenty questions and many more conversations over the last week and a half, we finally managed to move around our schedules to make room for dinner. We hadn’t seen one another since middle school. I was nervous. Yes, it was easy to keep conversation going via text but what would happen when we were suddenly sitting across the table from one another with no time to think of witty responses and no emojis to help. I tried not to over think.
Long story short, we ended up talking for hours, non-stop. Honestly, if time had allowed we probably could have kept talking for a few more. No one wants to go on a date and sit awkwardly making small talk. Thankfully there was none of that. Good conversation makes or breaks a date gentleman (and ladies). You don’t need notecards like some romance comedies joke at and you don’t need scripted topics. I’d recommend knowing a bit about what is going on in the world. It doesn’t need to be about stocks and middle-eastern conflict (let’s be honest that is all pretty boring on date night). Tell me a joke about how Betty White just turned 92, at least make it funny. Everyone enjoys a good laugh and on date night those are especially important.
Dinner was good but what made me feel like I had just had the “perfect” date was that I left wishing I could have stayed longer simply to continue our conversation. Don’t go to the movies on date one, two or even three in my opinion. Why waste date number one at the movies not knowing if your date is even a good conversationalist?! That would mean you would waste a date number two finding this out, wishing you were anywhere but across from him/her at the dinner table.
So next time you are making plans for a first date or just grabbing lunch with a friend, ask yourself if you are a good conversationalist. Practice makes perfect. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. From my experience, it takes a few bad dates with the wrong people to finally have a “perfect” date with the right person.