Dating in college. Ha. I almost want to laugh out loud. Oh, wait. I just did. First let me start off with a quick story simply because I think it just sums up my disgust and why I feel like this is such a non existent “thing” in our college culture.
So here I am, minding my own business, watching a friend of mine dominate the beer pong table when suddenly a guy pushes some girl up against the wall next to me. He not so quietly, nor subtly may I add, says to her, “I want to bang you so bad.”
Uhm, excuse me? You want to what? Does he really think that line is going to get him anywhere?
Moments later his cell phone begins ringing and one of his friend’s proceeds to inform him that his “girlfriend” is calling. Pause…it gets worse. The guy answers his cell and as he is talking his bros are attempting to guess which of his slew of girls could possibly be on the other line. Needless to say it took his so-called best friends three guesses before correctly figuring out who was on the other side of the conversation.
Disgusted. That basically sums up how I felt in that moment.
But the sad part is that it’s perfectly normal in today’s college culture. How did we end up here?
Gone are the days of grand gestures and romanticizing, at least in college.
Well you know what, that is not okay and I won’t stand for it. Ladies (and gentleman) you deserve better than a vulgar “I want to bang you so bad.”
I don’t even know where to begin.
When a guy invites you over to watch a movie, us girls know he doesn’t actually mean “watch a movie”. At least nine times out of ten. If a guy texts you after midnight to “hang out”, you’re usually just his booty call. And apparently getting lunch at the dining hall is supposed to count as going on a date…but it doesn’t.
Watching a movie should be just that. You should be able to text me soberly at two in the afternoon if you think its socially acceptable to drunkenly text me after twelve. If you want to eat lunch with me and call it a date, then take me out to lunch and you pay.
My mom raised me that if a guy pays, it’s a date. So, guys step it up.
No you don’t have the right to dance with me at the bar. If you want to dance, ask me and don’t act offended if I say no. Maybe I just needed to enjoy a night out dancing with my girls. It’s not personal.
I blame social media for making it acceptable to not have to date. You friend me on Facebook and suddenly I’m supposed to swoon? Not even. Favorite my tweet, follow me, retweet me. How about you ask me for my phone number and CALL (not text) me and invite me out sometime?
Don’t DM me on twitter. It’s not sexy. Step up and be a man.
Dating in college doesn’t exist because we have collectively made it okay to text instead of call. To tweet instead of talk. To become Facebook friends versus real life friends.
Ladies, it’s our job to not accept this. It is our job to lay down the law as to what is and isn’t okay. Dating in college should be a fun experience not a nonexistent one.
What happened to trying to impress the girl? Gentleman, I’m not saying you need to be paying for fancy dinners and extravagant nights out. We all know the oh so realistic struggle of being a broke college student.
Simply take her to coffee after class, go check out the free art show your college is offering and go for a picnic down by the canal.
Dating in college doesn’t exist because people come to college all “I want to be single!” as if they can’t go on dates AND be single. A date doesn’t have to lead to a relationship people. It may or may not. But instead of this hookup culture we have created, why don’t we go back to one where dates exist?
So many people aren’t scared to have random hookup sex, but they are scared to go on a date with a guy or girl they may actually like. How does this make any sense?
We need to stop making this okay. Dating in college. It should exist. It used to (for some people it may).
As you get ready to head into the summer…ladies don’t be afraid to put it out there that you are looking to date not just hook up. It’s okay to be spontaneous but sometimes it’s more romantic guys if you make a plan. And guys, you think she’s cute so instead of trying to “bang” her, how about you grow a pair, ask for her number and give her a call tomorrow to invite her out to lunch.
Let’s change the culture.