Everyone is fairly familiar with the phrases: “right person, wrong time” or “right time, wrong person”, but how many of you have ever encountered what feels like the right person at the right time … but you’re in the wrong place!? I think that one takes the cake as the best and worst feeling of the three.
Any of my friends can tell you I’m one to never say ‘no’ to an adventure. I’m actually usually the one dragging them around on what we call “all day accidental adventures” or creating the adventure myself. I put myself in situations sometimes that are a little outside my comfort zone and not usually the choice a mother would make for her child, but I think my friends would agree we always have a great time and no matter what it always makes for a great, sometimes absurd, story later. (If only you knew the one that sparked this blog!)
That being said, I’ve somehow encountered what has felt like the dreaded right person, right time but wrong place. However, I mean this not in I’m moving and he’s moving so we suddenly won’t be in the same state. I’m talking about the man you meet fleetingly on a trip abroad for a few weeks or who has found his way to America to visit for a short time. The man you know within the first few minutes of meeting him: you are intrigued and want to know all you can about him, yet you only have a very short time to do so.
Basically setting yourself up for hurt and an emotional rollercoaster, right? Not exactly.
I mean who would be crazy enough to let themselves get caught up in a fleeting romance that from day one you know will end because no matter how badly you want to stay or how badly you don’t want him to go, it’s inevitable? Me.
I believe that by knowing your time is limited it forces the romance and the feelings to develop more quickly because you both know goodbye is soon ahead. You are more honest and open with your emotions and you spend much more time together packed into a short time frame. You tend to appreciate the moments you have with them and soak it all up word for word, constantly looking forward to the next time you’ll be together. If it’s his city you’re visiting, he becomes the guide. The local who shows you all the greatest places and you suddenly find your experience abroad is no longer one of a tourist but something beyond what you’d have ever expected. Or it’s your turf, and you get to play tour guide showing him your favorite places and watching as he experiences the greatest pieces of what you call home.
It’s a whirlwind of romance and I wouldn’t trade the feeling of it for anything. By allowing yourself to just live in the moment enjoying what time you have, you allow your self to grow emotionally and create some of the greatest experiences, adventures and memories.
You’d be surprised how much you learn about yourself and how deeply your emotions can develop and mature. Yes, I get that if you haven’t ever been in this experience you’re probably reading this like I’m crazy. Just trust me.
If only every person faced their relationships in life every day with the intensity and honesty of one you know can’t last. We treat so many of the most important relationships we have with such carelessness under the false impression that there’s so much time. People that we claim to love we put off spending time with, we lie to and mistreat all because we take the time we have with them for granted. They will still be here and they aren’t going anywhere — You don’t know that nor do I.
The certainty that a fleeting romance gives you of an end makes you understand to appreciate each and every single moment – the here and now. I’ve never felt feelings so deeply or experienced such honesty than in those situations. Sometimes it scares me that the excitement of the romance will cause me to never find satisfaction in a relationship. However, I believe that what I’ve learned from these experiences should carry over into all relationships that develop and I know I’d never accept someone who doesn’t treat me like a priority. I’d never settle for someone who doesn’t want to learn everything about me and adventure with me; someone who treats me like I’ll still be here tomorrow and doesn’t appreciate the moment that could be taken so quickly.
It can be difficult and sometimes painful falling in love with someone you know you can’t be with — that’s true. The thought of not wanting to come back home or to move away have both crossed my mind. Those aren’t realistic and I wouldn’t be true to the woman I am if I left myself and my dreams behind to follow a man.
Instead, I grasp these moments full heartedly and I encourage you to do so. Love like you won’t have the chance to love them again and take every opportunity to find a new adventure, be it alone or with someone by your side. We don’t have time to treat our days like they are indispensable. We only have time to treat them like we are saying goodbye tomorrow.